Best Quotes by Al Franken

By | January 19, 2017

Some of George W. Bush’s friends say that Bush believes God called him to be president during these times of trial. But God told me that He/She/It had actually chosen Al Gore by making sure that Gore won the popular vote and, God thought, the Electoral College. ‘That worked for everyone else,’ God said.

Al Franken

Teen pregnancy went way down in the ’90s, and 75 percent of it was because of increased use of contraception.

Al Franken

Antitrust law isn’t about protecting competing businesses from each other, it’s about protecting competition itself on behalf of the public.

Al Franken

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

Al Franken

The government must give proper weight to both keeping America safe from terrorists and protecting Americans’ privacy. But when Americans lack the most basic information about our domestic surveillance programs, they have no way of knowing whether we’re getting that balance right. This lack of transparency is a big problem.

Al Franken

You can’t change your fingerprints. You have only ten of them. And you leave them on everything you touch; they are definitely not a secret.

Al Franken

Demagoguery sells. And therefore radio stations will put it on. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t do something else and also make it sell. You know, when I look at an Ann Coulter or I look at a Rush or I look at a Sean Hannity, I think to myself, ‘What kind of self-image do you have?’

Al Franken

My spiritual life is… sometimes I have access to it and sometimes I don’t. When I do have access to it, it’s usually a sense of my understanding what the best course of action or the best thing for me to do. By best, I mean when I have a real sense of doing the right thing and doing good for people and the connected universe of everybody.

Al Franken

I don’t think I’m an angry person. I think I’m a person who’s angry. I’m angry at the Bush administration; I’m angry at the right wing media. And by that I don’t mean the media is right wing. I mean, there is a part of the media that’s not the mainstream media. That’s Fox, that is ‘The Wall Street Journal’ editorial page.

Al Franken

My views about God come from my dad. Dad told me that he believed Nature, which to him included humankind, to be so beautiful, so magnificent, that there had to be something behind it all.

Al Franken

My views about God come from my dad. Dad told me that he believed Nature, which to him included humankind, to be so beautiful, so magnificent, that there had to be something behind it all.

Al Franken

There’s no comparison between NPR and the propaganda that you hear from Rush or from Sean Hannity, the news movement conservatives that are just laying out, slathering out the disinformation and the lies, as I discuss in my book, ‘Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.’

Al Franken

To make the argument that the media has a left- or right-wing, or a liberal or a conservative bias, is like asking if the problem with Al-Qaeda is do they use too much oil in their hummus.

Al Franken

It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world.

Al Franken

Apple has long been a leading innovator of mobile technology; I myself own an iPhone.

Al Franken

Our laws need to reflect the evolution of technology and the changing expectations of American society. This is why the Constitution is often called a ‘living’ document.

Al Franken

Veterans report that service dogs help break their isolation. People will often avert their eyes when they see a wounded veteran. But when the veteran has a dog, the same people will come up and say, ‘Hi’ to pet the dog and then strike up a conversation.

Al Franken

I think the government has a role in protecting the fundamental rights of its citizens.

Al Franken

It’s the Power of the Almighty, the Splendor of Nature, and then you.

Al Franken

I hope you realize, in a democracy, laughter is assent.

Al Franken

I grew up in Minnesota, where we treasure our tradition of civic engagement – and our record of having the nation’s highest voter participation.

Al Franken

I think Hell exists on Earth. It’s a psychological state, or it can be a physical state. People who have severe mental illness are in Hell. People who have lost a loved one are in Hell. I think there are all kinds of different hells. It’s not a place you go to after you die.

Al Franken

Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.

Al Franken

You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections – the presence you’ve spent years establishing on the world’s dominant social network?

Al Franken

In our political system, money is power. And that means a few can have a lot more power than the rest. That’s bad news for everyone else – and for our democracy itself.

Al Franken

The Founders who crafted our Constitution and Bill of Rights were careful to draft a Constitution of limited powers – one that would protect Americans’ liberty at all times – both in war, and in peace.

Al Franken

I know I have an awful lot to learn from the people of Minnesota.

Al Franken

My dad was a terrible businessman.

Al Franken

What you see on the campaign trail is me. It’s easy being me.

Al Franken

Terrorism, to me, is the use of terror for political purpose, and terror is indiscriminate murder of civilians to make a political point.

Al Franken

Minnesotans know the difference between the job of satirist and the job of senator. And so do I.

Al Franken

You might not like that Facebook shares your political opinions with Politico, but are you really going to delete all the photos, all the posts, all the connections – the presence you’ve spent years establishing on the world’s dominant social network?

Al Franken

The civil rights movement was very important in my house, and then Vietnam was very important ’cause there were two boys, so I came of age during a very heated political climate.

Al Franken

Humor and seriousness are not in opposition to each other.

Al Franken

When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.

Al Franken

The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They’re about getting ratings, about making money, about doing stories that are easy to cover.

Al Franken

Yeah, we shot ourselves in the foot right out of the gate. The guy who ran it at first misled pretty much everybody about how much capital we had. He said we had enough to go three years without making money, and we had enough to go three weeks.

Al Franken

When the president during the campaign said he was against nation building, I didn’t realize he meant our nation.

Al Franken

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don’t think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you’re funny.

Al Franken

Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government asked me to serve as a fellow at its Shorenstein Center on the Press, Politics, and Public Policy. After my varied and celebrated career in television, movies, publishing, and the lucrative world of corporate speaking, being a fellow at Harvard seemed, frankly, like a step down.

Al Franken

We owe an historic debt to American Indians. They have a unique set of concerns that haven’t been addressed, and I’d like to stand with them. Also, I’d like to get their views on immigration.

Al Franken

At ‘SNL,’ I wrote political stuff, but I never felt the show should have an axe to grind. But when I left in ’95, I could let my own beliefs out.

Al Franken

We need to be pro-science; we have to go back to science.

Al Franken

I do personal attacks only on people who specialize in personal attacks.

Al Franken

I also focus on Bush and his administration – who do a lot of lying – and how a right-wing media has allowed them to get away with a lot of stuff that, in a different media environment, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with.

Al Franken

But in the right-wing media, they do have a right-wing bias. And they also have an agenda. So their agenda is: we’re an adjunct of the Republican Party, and we’re going push that agenda every day, and, as you say, brand these stories that help further the right-wing cause.

Al Franken

Well, I think that there’s a value to comedy in and of itself.

Al Franken

And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that’s funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there’s all kinds of advantages to it.

Al Franken

The thing that interests me least about the radio business is the radio business. But I’ve had to learn a little bit about it. It’s not rocket science: You get ratings, that’s good.

Al Franken

The right wing has had a radio apparatus for years and years, so they’ve had minor leagues – they’ve had local rightwing guys who’ve become national rightwing guys, and who build slowly, and that’s how it goes. We haven’t had that. It isn’t like we have a farm team.

Al Franken

Yeah, but you need an experienced radio veteran who is a liberal advocate. And there just hadn’t been any radio that did that. And so they weren’t trained – they had developed all these bad habits of being objective and balanced and stuff like that.

Al Franken

Well, a lot of politics is communicating with people, and obviously comedy has something to do with that. I’ve been a producer and led people. Also, being a comedian, you’re under pressure.

Al Franken

The next thing I am doing is moving back home to Minnesota and getting involved in politics. I’m looking at a run for Senate in 2008, but in the meantime I am focused on knitting together the progressive network in the upper Midwest.

Al Franken

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