Best Quotes by Robert Webb

Feminism isn’t about hating men. It’s about challenging the absurd gender distinctions that boys and girls learn from childhood and carry into their adult lives.

Robert Webb

I’m the guy who spends 15 minutes staring out of the window wondering what to have for lunch.

Robert Webb

I’ve been called funny. I assume my wife thinks I’m funny. But generally, if you bumped into me and said hello, I would say hello back, politely. And that would be it.

Robert Webb

Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don’t often notice that they’re thugs, usually because they’re also idiots.

Robert Webb

The way people imagine their political leaders is, like it or not, an important factor in how they decide to vote and, indeed, whether they vote at all.

Robert Webb

I don’t care where you went to school. There – have I made your day? No? All right, I’ll go further: I also don’t care what your dad did for a living or how your mum voted. Nor do I mind whether you ate your tea in front of the telly, dinner at the kitchen table, or supper in the dining room.

Robert Webb

Labour is at its best when it remembers its moral fury.

Robert Webb

Don’t get me wrong – intellectual snobbery is vulgar and gauche.

Robert Webb

When I present those clip shows and movie mistakes and things, the persona the writers adopt for me is unimpressed, superior, very sarcastic – I’m not any of that. I can do it, but that’s not what I’m like.

Robert Webb

Slow, skinny, and an utter countryside coward: I lived in dread of nettles, spiders, and the very sound of a wasp. As a victim, I was beneath the dignity of the bullies in my year but fair game to the ones in the year below.

Robert Webb

My first proper kiss was from Cara Shucksmith when I was 13 or 14 at her birthday party.

Robert Webb

I think of myself as naturally idle. The trouble is, the ‘nothing’ that I do every day is not really nothing. I potter. I muck about with emails, I make coffee, I fiddle with my computer to make sure that the book I haven’t started writing is perfectly synced across all platforms and devices.

Robert Webb

When I was 18, I was halfway up the Eiffel Tower with my friend, Tom, when we decided to stick our heads through the railings. The gap between the railings was exactly the right size to be able to put your head through and nearly get stuck. Which is exactly what happened.

Robert Webb

I proposed to my wife on Brighton Beach, and she said yes. That’s pretty romantic. Even though I forgot to go down on one knee because I was too busy trying to compose the question.

Robert Webb

Feminism is an attack on social practices and habits of thought that keep women and men boxed into gender roles that are harmful.

Robert Webb

We are people, individuals comprising a variety of sexes, races, shifting sexualities and all the rest of it. Every convention that tries to reinforce this difference is a step back. Notions of gender pointlessly separate men from women, but also mothers from daughters and fathers from sons.

Robert Webb

On ‘EastEnders,’ if someone gets surprising news on the phone, the scene ends with them looking at their handset in amazement. No one in real life does that.

Robert Webb

My favorite series of ‘Peep Show’ is always the most recent one, which I can say with all honesty because I don’t write it. It gets better and better.

Robert Webb

If I hadn’t got into comedy, I wouldn’t have met Abbey, my wife, and I wouldn’t have my two girls, and the whole thing unravels. That’s the thing about being basically – whisper it quietly – happy, is that you don’t really want to change anything, because once you start changing stuff, then what you’ve got all disappears.

Robert Webb

We got our revolution out of the way long before the French and the Americans. The monarchy was restored, but the sovereignty of our parliament, made up of and elected by a slowly widening constituency of the people, has never been seriously challenged since then.

Robert Webb

When the Mac ad campaign was in full swing, I quickened my pace as I went past certain bus stops. My wife told me that she loyally took a piece of chewing gum off my nose once.

Robert Webb

Ukippers are the kinds of fools who haven’t noticed they’re sleep-walking towards fascism. Many UKIP candidates are of the age when their parents fought in the Second World War.

Robert Webb

Parenting girls makes you quite gender-conscious – it’s almost impossible to fight the power of pink. It’s not such a terrible thing to want to be a princess when you’re five, but it would be nice if there were some other options.

Robert Webb

I’m feeling around for what happens in a post-‘Peep Show’ world.

Robert Webb

I’ve been sort of coasting on ‘Peep Show.’ So now it’s kind of, ‘When I grow up, I’m going to have to be an actor if I’m not careful.’

Robert Webb

He likes ‘Confetti,’ and he doesn’t like ‘Star Wars.’ I think that just relieves us from the burden of ever having to take Mark Kermode seriously again.

Robert Webb

I can’t imagine getting bored with comedy or thinking comedy is beneath us suddenly.

Robert Webb

It’s odd because some actors are very scared of comedians.

Robert Webb

I don’t do much lying in real life because I don’t get away with it.

Robert Webb

I grew up in Lincolnshire, trying to get the daughters of farmers and policemen to like me. It didn’t go well until I got to college where, suddenly, there were different sorts of humans.

Robert Webb

The only thing I’ve cooked while entertaining is stir-fry.

Robert Webb

I suppose if I went to Turkey – I mean, I can’t imagine going that far away, but if I did go to Turkey, yes, I would probably try to know ‘please’ and ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’, and ‘a beer please’, and all the useful words.

Robert Webb

Car-essential is a real turn-off to me, so yeah, I just want a friendly holiday resort with a villa and a pool, but which is really private, but there again, there’s a supermarket and a doctor’s and a beach a five-minute walk away. That’s all I want, and it’s quite difficult to find.

Robert Webb

I think jokes can actually go to places that drama can’t.

Robert Webb

We call ourselves comedy writer-performers, and that encompasses everything, and I certainly have a very open mind about it.

Robert Webb

Ambiguity around ambiguity is forgivable in an unpublished poet and expected of an arts student on the pull: for a professional comedian demoting himself to the role of ‘thinker’, with stadiums full of young people hanging on his every word, it won’t really do.

Robert Webb

I grew up watching British comedy on TV, really.

Robert Webb

I don’t really have that much contact with Americans. I mean, I see the oddest things on the Internet, I suppose. And I’ve got a couple of American friends, but they are Anglophiles anyway because they’ve decided to come live here.

Robert Webb

Basically I try not to knock other comedians.

Robert Webb

There was a lot of terrible, terrible comedy in the seventies along with ‘Fawlty Towers.’ It’s easy to forget.

Robert Webb

To do comedy, you have to be a pretty good actor to start with.

Robert Webb

I snootily say I can’t take too many dramatic parts, as it’s taking work from actors who aren’t funny.

Robert Webb

I was in the play ‘Fat Pig in the West End,’ which is a comedy but has dramatic moments.

Robert Webb

If I told my 18-year-old self that one day I’d have a sitcom and a sketch show on TV, I think he’d just drum his fingers and go, ‘When? How long is that going to take?’

Robert Webb

I’d kill to be ‘Doctor Who.’ Maybe they could make the Doctor two people? He has got two hearts, after all.

Robert Webb

It should go without saying that there are as many working-class people who hold socially liberal views as there are public-school bigots.

Robert Webb

The female characters in ‘Peep Show’ are not ‘strong’: they are idiots. As idiotic as the men.

Robert Webb

We think; therefore, we often talk rubbish.

Robert Webb

Very bad things follow when we kid ourselves that we’re naturally rational, rather than the more humbling truth: naturally emotional.

Robert Webb

Where you have 20 people who all share roughly the same educational and life experiences, they’re going to come up with the same solutions to the same problems.

Robert Webb

My childhood was as heavily gendered as any you would find in a working-class household in Lincolnshire.

Robert Webb

My mother died when I was 17, and I moved in with my dad to make a 12-month pig’s ear of retaking my A-levels.

Robert Webb