Best Quotes from Kathy Griffin

If you see me on Friday, you’ll see different material on Saturday night.

Kathy Griffin

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.

Kathy Griffin

I’m not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience’s ticket into the party.

Kathy Griffin

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can’t seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it’s my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.

Kathy Griffin

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

Kathy Griffin

No, I love Montreal… I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me… I love the food there.

Kathy Griffin

Pretty much everywhere I go, I’m pretty much thinking I’m going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

Kathy Griffin

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you’ve ever heard.

Kathy Griffin

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn’t care less if it’s true.

Kathy Griffin

I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

Kathy Griffin

I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me… I love the food there.

Kathy Griffin

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

Kathy Griffin

I have what I call A-list moments, but believe me, I’m still on the D-list.

Kathy Griffin

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

Kathy Griffin

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

Kathy Griffin

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I’m on stage, I’m at a microphone… it’s a joke!

Kathy Griffin

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

Kathy Griffin

That’s life when you’re on the D-list.

Kathy Griffin

I’m not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

Kathy Griffin

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I’m not going to let that stand.

Kathy Griffin

Have I gone too far?

Kathy Griffin

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don’t know they are.

Kathy Griffin

I do road gigs occasionally but I don’t want to go out on the road for months at a time.

Kathy Griffin

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can’t help it.

Kathy Griffin

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.

Kathy Griffin

I hate it, it is tedious… when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

Kathy Griffin

My act is based on my life.

Kathy Griffin

I’m also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It’s going to be a spoof of Biography.

Kathy Griffin

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

Kathy Griffin

That’s what I loved about Temptation Island. I don’t even know why they did it.

Kathy Griffin

The thing that bums me out about ‘The Real World’ is I don’t want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.

Kathy Griffin

I’m basically always on tour.

Kathy Griffin

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It’s definitely rated R.

Kathy Griffin

I am in love with Larry David.

Kathy Griffin

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

Kathy Griffin

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

Kathy Griffin

I’m on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

Kathy Griffin

My act has always reflected what’s going on in my life.

Kathy Griffin

I’m always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

Kathy Griffin

A lot of celebrities, especially when you’re talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.

Kathy Griffin

A lot of stars don’t have a sense of humor.

Kathy Griffin

I don’t like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

Kathy Griffin

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I’m going to bomb at.

Kathy Griffin

But if something funny happens, I can’t resist. I have to tell the people.

Kathy Griffin

I also don’t have a desire to be on the A-list. I feel more people can relate to the D-list than the A-list.

Kathy Griffin

It is a challenge, with the global fame, to try to act like I put my pants on one leg at a time, when in fact I have Pippa Middleton help me put my pants on every morning. She’s my lady-in-waiting as well.

Kathy Griffin

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that’s just part of the deal. I’m not really sure what’s going to come out of my mouth.

Kathy Griffin

Well, I think that when I perform on the road I always thank the audience for buying a ticket because it’s a big deal to buy a ticket for a live entertainment, get a baby-sitter and pay for the meal, the parking, whatever.

Kathy Griffin

I love to work. I love doing standup.

Kathy Griffin

Well, Jon Hamm isn’t a real celebrity.

Kathy Griffin

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America’s great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.

Kathy Griffin

When I’m going to see a comedian, I don’t want to see them hold back, and when I’m reading a book, I don’t want to hear an abridged version.

Kathy Griffin